Jerry Jerry Jerry

how you’ve been on my mind.  Jerry is Mr Depp’s bodyguard. He’s good at his job. So good, it’s rather annoying and a bit overkill. Us fans would never harm Johnny. However Jerry,is said to be an ex navy seal.  His job with Johnny is to SEAL off his pants for life and keep him from any potential “harm” The definintion of Jerry’s title is as follows:


1.  a male who interferes with another male’s attempt to freak the woman.
2. (Verb) to cockblock: basically, to interfere, by way of one’s mere presence.

3. The means at which one individual prevents the sexual conquest of another individual by word, action or motive and acts accordingly to prevent sexual intercourse between the fucker and the fuckee.

The cock block. You’ve experienced it, in one way or another, at some point.

Jerry is very serious. He can appear out of nowhere, and as I’ve said in a previous entry, some of his looks scare the shit out of me. This man does he job a little too well. I think it’s time Jerry took it down a notch. The other body guard is being trained to cockblock, he pushed a man who was getting a picture with Mr Depp. The man wasn’t dangerous, didn’t pose a threat but this other bodyguard pushed him back out of the way.  Recently some chick that doesn’t know of my existence jumped the rope. (If she had been aware of my mere existence and what hell Johnny and I have been through she wouldn’t have dared,)  She got hauled out of the area. Serious shit.  Does anyone know how old Jerry is? He strikes me as one of those dudes that will live forever like Orville Redenbaucker or however you spell the popcorn kings name.

Maybe Jerry is a vampyre. Skills of a deranged ninja. I googled Jerry Ninja and nothing showed up.


Jerry shall be from this time forth known as the cockblocker. He has blocked many a gropes from needy hands time and time again. Poor Johnny.    I think it’s time to band together and start a cockblocking distraction team. I leave you with the following.


I can give some proof positive examples. As follows:




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