My day started off pretty good. I woke and ordered breakfast. When it arrived the man brought the small table of goodies into my room. I had this overwhelming urge. I think it was brought on by the alien actually. In an instant I was at the bed side table and back to the gentleman standing at the table uncovering my dishes. He never knew what was going to happen next. The poor asshole.
I tased him.
I really thought he’d recover quicker from quivering than what he did. I had time to sit and finish my french toast and half of my crepes before he sat up. He looked at me and I just smiled. He said stammering ” What…what did you do, why did you do that?” I replied, “What do you mean? I didn’t do anything” Then I eyed the taser beside me and looked back to him, He stood up and although he had trouble walking he made a bee line for the door.
I finished my breakfast and then took my journey down to the shoe shine area. I wasn’t wearing any shoes that needed to be shined and the man inside didn’t look like the one I remembered. However I started a conversation with him and I’m assuming because I wasn’t in need of shine which meant no money for him, he didn’t seem to be in a talking mood.
I tased him.
I left and found the front desk and asked the clerk if Mr. Gene Watson had arrived yet. The woman checked the computer and said, “No”. “That’s strange” I said, “he should have been here by now, could you try Mr. Stench, or Monsieur Poo Poo?” She gave me a go to hell look. “Listen I said, I’m in no mood, I’m trying to locate him because we are suppose to meet here, I’m not blowing smoke up your ass.” She said she wasn’t going to check those names but would be happy to look if I had a real name to go by. I said ” Johnny Depp” She rolled her eyes, then said “Not found” in a bitchy tone. I leaned onto the counter and motioned for her to come close. I wanted to whisper the right name in her ear. One that Johnny uses on very rare occasions. She leaned forward and I could tell she was very interested. Probably in case Mr Depp had slipped past her, she’d now know the name and that he “the” Johnny Depp was in the hotel. A fan no doubt. Pppfft.
I tased her.
As I walked away other members of the administrative staff found her behind the counter. It was clear they came out of their offices due to the thump thump sound that her feet were making against the wall.
I have no doubt that Johnny may have postponed showing up here due to it being a holiday weekend. I will find him tomorrow when he checks in. I hope the room service lady will be okay. She startled me on the way back to my room when she got on the elevator.
I tased her.