I arrived early this morning and I spent a few hours looking for Johnny’s house in Miramar. However this place is spelled. I did find it and this time I didn’t knock at the door. I subtly parked my car in their driveway.
I sat there a good three hours. Finally someone came out of the house and told me I would have to move my car out of their drive. I said I would, but also asked if Johnny was inside the house. The gentleman told me that a “Johnny” didn’t live there. I winked at him and said, “alright then.” I moved my car and parked it alongside their curb. As the man was going back into the house I exited my car and I did what anyone in my position would do. I hopped the fence.
I went around to the sliding glass doors and peered in. The man was nowhere. I tried the door. Open just as I thought it would be. I went in and made my way to the kitchen. In the cabinets were pretzels, ben gay ointment, blue star ointment and some peanuts. Not much to see there. This guy must have been in his 80’s. I wandered around, and went down the hall. I could see a light on in the bathroom, the door was open. I turned and there he was……………in all his glory
I screamed, he screamed and then he got violent. He stood up without pulling up his pants and commenced chasing me down the hall. His business flopping everywhere. I was making my way for the sliding glass doors and forgot I had shut it behind me. I smacked the glass pretty hard, but I was up in 2 seconds flat. Out the door I went, and over the fence. The man had managed to get his pants up and was running out his front door as I was driving away.
I NEVER want to see a sight like that ever again. By the way once you go grey – the silver lining doesn’t end with your hair line. I swear I thought scraggle haired penis would be the last thing I ever saw.
Just a side note. Johnny was not there. I am now in my hotel. Safe. I will be sleeping on the floor tonight because I have already felt a bit artistic and left my artwork for housekeeping to find.
(YES the photo at the bottom of the post IS the actual house where Johnny lived – kidding aside)