Can’t find my taser

Okay for days now I’ve been trying to locate my taser. Regardless it’s been misplaced. Every since I came home from Las Vegas I haven’t been able to find it. Anyway….

I have to let everyone know about the alien. I had something very serious happen.  This morning I was dealing with some pretty harsh pain once again. Again I must have had something bad to eat. I cramped and cramped and needless to say without a bunch of TMI I was in the bathroom for along time. I was straining. Straining hard!  What I think, NO, what I know happened immediately followed. I think I pushed too hard. I heard a loud splashing sound ( which I believe was me accidentally pushing the alien out into the toilet) However I didn’t expect the alien to retaliate like it did. The instant that I heard the splashing sound I was electrocuted. I could even see the blue flashes coming up from between my legs while I was trying to pull up my shorts before I went unconscious.

drunk_and_toilet

 

 

I’m fine now. No worries. My bum feels awfully raw but I’m good. So, anyway it’s back to looking for this taser I’ve lost.  I’m starting to think it was stolen. Figures.  More tomorrow for my readers but does anyone know if aliens can get trapped trying to go “back in” because I still feel a lot of pressure in my ….backside.

Yours Truly,

KATE VAN WINFENN

 

EDIT – :  I’ve found my taser and I don’t want to talk about it.

 

 

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