Age Makes a Difference

I’ve heard about all I want to hear. “There is toooooo much age between Johnny Depp and his psycho doll who travels with him” FYI that isn’t traveling, that’s being supervised because her father in Texas thinks she’s Johnny’s problem now.

Anyway as I was saying, tired of hearing the age comparisons so I’d like to direct your attention to the real issue. Not that’s she’s too damn young for Mr. Depp, not the many things that I could clearly show you (how she can’t measure up to my tastes, my looks, my experience, and my tracking and detective skills, but alas I digress back to the topic)

ARE WE SURE SHE’S ONLY 28??

Hooker looks like she’s in her 30’s at least. Have you seen the faults on her face? Faults as in tetonic plates. San Andreas etc. When they pack on, or when she packs the rubber paint on her face all the deep geographic ridges around her nose show up. I’ve seen penises with less ridging. Don’t even get me started on ass cracks. They must have to do extra air brushing because she’s aging at a rate faster than dog years. I’m pretty sure that’s not normal. Besides I think she’s stealing from me. I can’t find my golf cart.

Let’s do some comparisons. 28 year olds compared to hooker.

Sorry you had to be blasted in the face with such a huge shot but look at that! WOW. She doesn’t look 28.

Again.

Here’s a MUGSHOT of a 28 year old woman.

Compared to….

I don’t know why she’s aging so fast but my advice is to stop using drugs as seasonings on her food. That’s not a salt shaker, nor it is cornstarch.

Oh, and stop complaining about the hooker’s figure, I’ve heard numerous people say she has no butt, which is why she has to pose certain ways during photo shoots {to make her butt look plump}. Give the strumpet a break, how do you think her ass got that way? Years of work, that’s how. She’s seen more ceilings than Michael Angelo.

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