Back in L.A.

I FINALLY got word that Johnny was back in LA – hurt himself and flew back to the states. I got tired of people telling me I was at cayman and not Australia too. Whatevs

Went to the house – in LA – some neighbor must have called the cops on me, and I decided to play along and leave. Can’t say it wasn’t worth it, I got air time.


How Far is Australia

Tired of people telling me I’m not in Australia. For your information I looked it up. From Florida to Australia is 10,250 miles. DUH I’m aware of that!

That means in 2 days time, my raft is fucking phenom! Awesome! It did it’s job. Don’t be jealous!


Go Kart #JohnnyDepp

Big, huge difference between a go kart and a golf kart. I own a golf kart, and apparently those around johnny don’t know the difference.   :facepalm:

I won’t be letting him borrow it ever again. Actually I didn’t know he took it with him. SO much for being sneaky Johnny. My kart had better be okay. Your hand/wrist can heal but my kart is super special I hope you have enough fundage to repair it. Better be back at my home when I return

Made it!

It was quite the trip to Australia!  It took less time than I thought but it was one heck of a flat trip!, Great weather the whole way!  Did you know that Australia has islands that have the same names as the ones close to Florida where I left from? Yep! Here’s one of the first pictures I took when I set foot on land!

Holy snikies!! That’s cool!!

Let me share more of my beautiful pictures,

heres a map I bought…this will come in handy finding johnny

This must be a sister island to the actual Grand Cayman off Florida.

I don’t know if I want to camp on the beach or get a hotel. I haven’t made up my mind yet but that’s okay. I have everything I need.

I may have spied Johnny earlier today. In disguise of course. More on that later. I just found a small lagoon that looks great for skinny dipping and this raft of mine. So glad to be in OZ!


I’m on my way. Bought a few things I’ll need for my travels to Australia. I got a pair of new flip flops and these are going to help me get the word to Johnny just wait and see what they can do. Also I’ve packed a few surprises. I’m not too happy about it being Australia because they have snakes and for those of you that have been reading here since The Lone Ranger filming, snakes don’t like me.

Besides I have to audition for a part so I’ll be doing my best reenactment from Star Wars. At any rate I am starting out to Australia and I’ll let everyone know when I arrive. I’m leaving from southern Florida. Safe travels to me, and I’ll update as I can!


Bad Food

I’m posting this as I’m battling some bad food. OH MY GOD THE CRAMPS!!! It’s horrible!!! I’ve went through two rolls of toilet paper already! This can’t be for real, I’m like crapping dust cause my body has already shot out every drop of water I’ve got!!

Golf Kart has it’s own parking space now..


I took it out today in traffic again. I’m a celebrity so there was no need to pull me over. They’ve gotten wind of who I am. Which brings me to another topic. It was leaked that Johnny and I got married. That we married on the island, and I have no idea who leaked that information! Few even know we were engaged, let alone our venue for our nuptials! I don’t know where anyone would have heard it. I only sent a few emails, mentioned it here at the blog twice and did several tweets about it. The internet is such a small place, I know that couldn’t have done it.

Anyway, now we have to pick a different venue. :sigh: damn media.

I did as I said, get out and about today in my kart. Tell me has anyone seen 21 JumpStreet the movie? Pretty good no? As usual I met up with Johnny today. He does such drastic things to avoid being mobbed and followed around by the paparazzi, but it seems he found me once again. I took a photo! I am happy to be able to post it here and show the world! Johnny ! after I took the photo some creep cut me off, went by screaming I was going to slow get my fucking kart off the highway. He blocked me and Johnny took off. I never caught up. Arrgghh, the things we go through to try and hook up. Fame….

Gorgeous! Just look at how he’s looking at me!!


Yours Truly,

I’m Free

Does anyone have any idea how hard it is to get the Army to send you home? First you have to go through basic training. I told them I wasn’t suppose to be there. They told me I signed up so bullshit I was staying. I past the physical parts of the training but I soon realized maybe that was the problem So I started failing them. Which made things worse. I did everything I could, told any lie I could in order to get them to let me out. I even told them I was gay, and they shrugged. WHEN did that change? They said years ago. I think they lied. I got extremely frustrated. I made the entire group score low on a war game, and for whatever reason it made the entire group beat me with soap they packed into their socks. Ungrateful because half of them need to go home. I wouldn’t feel safe with anyone protecting me or my country with just soap.

I finally got called in and “the big talk” was going to happen. I was asked why I didn’t want to be there. At this point I was tired of lying. I just told the truth. I told them about Johnny. How we were in love, how I was suppose to find him, he was living under the alias of Lerner. Things got screwed up and now I was two months behind in getting to him. He was no doubt devastated, and I was too for that matter. After two hours of this talk and letting them know ALL THE PLACES we had been together, they asked me to go back to the barracks.

That was two days ago. Tonight I am home. FINALLY. I was sent home with some papers. Don’t know how to read some of it, and I don’t care. I have to gear up for Australia soon. I have much to do. I’ll find out what this means:

Under the guidance in chapter 1, section II, a Soldier with less than 24 months of active duty service, as of the date separation proceedings are initiated, may be separated for personality disorder (not amounting to disability (see AR 635-40)) that interferes with assignment or with performance of duty, when so disposed as indicated in a, below.a. This condition is a deeply ingrained maladaptive pattern of behavior of long duration that interferes with the Soldier’s ability to perform duty.

Seems my kung fu was just too strong.