Thankfully, I kept Johnny safe from the celebrity curse of 2016, he does cross over into the musician and actor categories, so after oh…January I had started formulating a plan to keep Johnny safe. Apparently my hard work paid off, I was able to safely disentangle him from the clutches of that leach that wouldn’t bugger off, what was her name again? Famewhore, that’s right. Jerry still pretended he didn’t know who I was and cockblocked me every chance he got, but me and Johnny kept it all on the down low, even from his security deets.
When Johnny was on the party boat, I will admit, i was there. Undercover as a maid of course, and yes I took his sheets off the bed and added to my private collection of our Valentine memorabilia, I know it was his room I was in, it said captain on the outside of the door, a carnival ship, and we were going from Cancun to Cozumel and back. Oh the places he takes me on our undercover vacays. Totally reminiscent of our rum diary times and a little saucy captain jack. Sometimes he likes to cross over his characters to try and spice things up a bit, that’s just our thing. Do you know that even though he was busy with making sure the party goers stayed loaded, he did make time to find me in a janitors closet and well let’s just say, it was intense. He called me Carina, so I knew it was just him being in jack sparrow mode, I slapped him as he expected, and walked out.
This is a new year, the curse of 2016 has been lifted finally and I can breathe a little easier now. No, I mean that literally, the security guard outside our home just passed me underneath this bush without spotting me. I’m doing very well, I have got to tell him these guards can’t find their asses with both hands, oh wait I think that one just did, ………. And he came back to my bush and pissed on it. Oh yes we are having a talk about this, Jerry can’t always be there. Maybe I should surprise him in the shower, or with a friendly wake up talk, or right before bed, I can fit underneath his bed all I have to do is wait again.
Oh new year, can you truly bring my loved one back to me? Is that too large of a wish or resolution to make? On a serious note, I have some news that I may drop here, or I may not, I haven’t decided yet.
Finding Johnny Depp 